Fuckwits.Ask.Questions.

FAQ

So what is this shit?

Fuck knows. Originally it was just a zine and Facebook page ranting endlessly and interminably about how all the bands and musicians of Tauranga suck ass. But after the initial and obvious negative backlash died down a handful of former big city dwelling dilettante assholes dubbed me the messiah and started actually listening to what I had to say. Worse yet, they actually agreed with my bad ideas. From there TMS has become part event organiser, half assed record label, poorly prepared music critic, occassional promotions company and whatever else I/we feel like doing on a daily basis to waste some more time in our otherwise mediocre existences.

 

And Tell Me Again, Just Why Does Tauranga Music Sux?

2 words. One name....Jason Bradfield.

 

But besides that?

Well imagine a town where people can barely play their instruments, have no musical talent but still aspire to be rockstars only to realise well after starting a band that they aren't in fact any fucken good and so therefore to deflect any possible criticism embrace the fact that they 'suck' and wear their inadequacies as a badge of dishonour.

 

Oh...

And while some could actually be defined in conventional terms as being 'good' these are usually the worst of the worst due to their heads infinetly expanding due to the sheer weight of their gigantic butt chins.

 

Hey What's With All the Penis Man?

When you are surrounded by dicks then it becomes very natural to want to document your surroundings.

 

So You're Not Some Kind of Pagan Doomsday Cult Then?

Pagan no... Doomsday Cult maybe.

 

Has TMS been in existence long enough and are you popular enough for me and my hipster friends to put on some stubbies, hop on board the 'cool' train and pretend we 'sucked' all along?

Die.

 

Didn't I hear 8th hand without doing any personal research that you lot were a pack of uneducated, small town red necks with a penchent for hatred towards minorities?

Hey.. I kan rite prety whell wen i wont two...

 

You're not the Tauranga branch of the National Front then?

You have been talking to Big Rick again haven't you... Well for the last time. NO. And I will have you know that some of my best friends are gay, jewish, asian, females who play racquet sports and work in retail.

 

So why do you keep getting such negative press for these supposed infractions?

Cause I love the taste of my own foot.

 

Tauranga Music can't all suck can it?

I thought we got past this? It does. It truly does. But where there is shit there is also usually the occassional flower. But sadly this flower is a wilting, sun dried, petal less, insect chewed stem imitation of a flower and we call it Super Narco Man. But hey it's better than that mushroom actually growing in the shit known as Threat.Meet.Protocol....

 

Ok, maybe I should see it for myself. Where can I go to see a Tauranga Music Sux show?

At an empty bar/hall/tunnel/bridge/field near you...

 

Man your scene does really sound shit....

See. Believe me now?

 

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