Woodcock returns to the over saturated summer festival market in 2016 hipper, cooler and with even more underground chic than ever before.
With a soon to be revealed lineup of over 50 alternative, punk,dance, hip hop, salsa, Jeffrey Tambor, Jazz fusion, blues, Salami on rye, Trip hop hard acid house acts . Fifteen white tinted glass Mercedes vans full of all day and night sunglasses wearing, fluro topped DJ’s and the occasional hemp tented class on how to weave a new group of merino wool friends - Woodcock 2016 is expected to satisfy everyone with an ounce of cool.
But Woodcock 2016 - #toocoolforyou is just that ‘Too cool for you’. So if you are reading this, you have therefore heard of Woodcock and therefore are no longer cool, hip, edgy and or enlightened to social magic enough to attend.
Thus we are sorry.
As this year due to us growing with exponential coolness we are only accepting entrance from those so underground and out of the loop that they automatically become uber cool due to their complete and utter ignorance of and interest in our festivals existence.
So hi, and welcome to those new and old faces with no style, deep seated musical snobbery, affected style and mannerisms and 15kgs of hair gel holding their ridiculous quiffs together. You are the new cool friends.
And if you think that you are cool. And you have told your friends that we are cool. And that you should all go to this because it will up your Ponsonby ‘it factor’ rating. Then hey ,soz #toocoolforyou. You are so not invited. Go spend your money on a chance to fondle Wayne Coynes floating bubble elsewhere with the other sad pathetic poseur people of your ilk .