Reader Doesn't Know What News is Real Anymore


Avid news reader Paul Gunderson today has officially given up on reading any news article seen through his Facebook feed and or anywhere online after realising that he has no idea what is real anymore.


With the recent proliferation of online fake news websites chronicling fabricated events from politics, business, music, sports through to things as mundane as pro wrestling it is becoming harder and harder to navigate what is authentic news and which are facetious attempts at satire.  


"Look I loved the Onion, but the Onion was obviously a witty parody. And original. But fake news these days is getting harder and harder to discern. I mean is Dave Grohl actually a part man/part fish demi-monster from the planet Morgle or did I just get trolled again?" Said Gunderson.


While newspapers currently remain a safe alternative for those looking to follow real events it seems that current affairs are too becoming a parody of themselves. With Donald Trump currently leading the Republican party primaries in the US public vote, Japan beating the Springboks at the Rugby World Cup and David Cameron being exposed as a devoted and longtime Pig fucker  - news is becoming more and more bizarre and unbelievable.


Part of the blame must be placed upon the gullible nature of those reading and sharing these stories but when the ratio between real and fake news swings in favour of fiction then can we blamed for believing in Total Recall like ladies with three breasts, selfie shoes and Christopher Walken killing sprees?


Professor of Media Psychology at Massey University, Dr Hans Sandwhichberg describes the rise in satirical news websites as being due to the lack of fresh interesting news that has the ability to captivate like how it used to.


"Isis are the poor mans Nazi party, Donald Trump is a third rate Regan, school shootings have been done to death. It's like watching a sitcom in the late 90's - they all took part in a coffee house where six urbane 20 somethings were ridiculously close friends. News these days, we've seen it all before so we are trying to break the mundanity and create something fresh and palatable for ourselves to read. Reality will come back in fashion when aliens invade or Armageddon at the hands of Jerry Bruckheimer becomes a reality." 


Paul Gunderson, thinks that it is for the best that for now he either ignores all current events completely or sticks only to reading reliable and respected news papers like the Bay of Plenty Times. However, even then he is unsure if he can believe everything or anything he reads. 


"Did NASA find water on Mars or is this actually just the best publicity campaign ever for that new Matt Damon movie. Did that kid shoot up his school in Oregon or are the Illuminati just trying to restrict the ability for Americans to own guns? Is this article I am currently being interviewed real or is this another attempt at trolling everyone. I am so fucken confused."


So are we....