Tauranga Music Sux: Goals for the Future

                                                                   

 

*Put on an event where there are more paying attendees than band members

* Get our likes up to and even over 1000 only to ruin it all and drop back down to 186 after admitting that we were never about the music and were actually a front for the National Party all along

*Run the 4 minute mile

* Learn how to play an instrument

* Sign Kokomo and Brilleaux to Savant Garde Records

* Circumnavigate and map Aaron Saxons butt chin

*Finally review that Jackal album I promised to do 4 months ago

* Get past the first level of Bart Simpson vs the Space Mutants on Sega Master System

* Understand why people like Reggae

* Try and convince Real Groovy to take that Baz Mantis and the D Day Saints CD I was given

* Think of some better goals

* Convince Willie/Shane and Dave to reform Gallus Storky

* Convince Jackson and Evan not to reform the Flaming Tea Bags

* Amass the worlds largest collection of Blue and Gold stubbies

* Get Hacksaw Jim Duggan to come to my birthday party

* Put the cock back in Woodcock after booking Benny Tipene to play

* Get some better, more relevant punchlines

* Not to be known in its existence but remembered fondly years later by people who weren't there only to be reforgotten again after they realise why they never knew of it in the first place

* Grow up

* Even the ratio of Tauranga Music Sux supporters from 1 vagina for every 10 dicks to 3 vaginas for every 10 dicks

* Explain to my Mum why I can't pay her back for Woodcock 2015

* Stop using the term fracking as a sexual term

* Run for Mayor or at least run over the Mayor

* Listen to Justin Bradfords first album in its entirety

* Get Ashley Mckinley to finish the Queef Jerky album he started 3 years ago

* Get endorsed by Husqvarna

* Make it to the final 3 on season 1 of the Bachelor

* Find my year 13 teacher and say "See, I did amount to nothing"

* Perform Swan Lake at Baycourt

* Get off those charges for indecent exposure

* Admit that I don't even like music and that I just put on gigs because I am lonely

* Punch John Campbell in his marmit face

* Develop an addiction to lactose

* Finish this post so I can watch the Wrestling

Search